"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our heart", Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is with some sadness that I write this post. Firstly saying goodbye to my parents, who we have all been looking forward to seeing so much and also the end of our first chapter travelling and our time as a family unit. Just us - no one else. For the next few weeks we are staying with friends, which on one level we are very excited about - it will be so refreshing to be in the company of good friends - but on the flip side we are now at the mercy of other people's agenda, something that we have not had to do for the past two months.
If we had left Vietnam after Ocean Villas (Fred's last post), we would have been glad to see the back of Asia but after the most magical week on the island Phu Quoc and a few days in Ho Chi Minh with my parents I am sad to leave. Phu Quoc was the perfect tonic for us all, beaches, puppies, star fish on the beach, theme parks and the cheapest accommodation yet, reflecting our view that money doesn't guarantee a good time. We all loved it. My favourite place so far and I will let the photos do the talking.
It was here that we met an inspirational family travelling with their two kids, who we spent a few days with. They live in Scotland and have given up previous jobs to set up an eco farm and home-stay, are amazingly well informed on sustainability, climate change, the plight of young children in Cambodia and the links to clothing in the UK and we had some of our most interesting conversations with them that the children enjoyed participating in. Similarly to their home ethos they have travelled through Thailand and Vietnam working on a perma culture farm, and travelling with foldable bikes they use to get around. A stark difference to our experience which, although we are sticking to a budget and try to avoid international hotels, is still quite unadventurous in approach. It has led me to question whether we are really making the most of our time in Asia and whether we are showing the kids an authentic Asia (whatever that means) or if we are just behaving like tourists on a long holiday. With this in mind I have been coercing everyone into night market visits, trying the street food if possible and going to a few local shows (but really these are quite touristy things to do so hasn't reassured my doubts). Finally on our last night in Vietnam I tried dragging crying children and an angry husband round two local markets (hot, not that interesting and no frog head decapitation which I think is just put on for the tourists) and in the end I gave in to an amazing dinner at the restaurant where Fred did his cooking course, hardly authentic but pleasant. And so I came to the realisation that during our travels it is important to remember that we are a family of five, Asia has been hard work for the children, hot, busy and different. Whilst they have loved some of the more Asian type activities such as squeezing five onto a moped, drinking fizzy drinks like water, theme parks and cable cars and visiting the occasional night market that is about as far as it goes. I might like hot sweaty daytime markets and wish I was more adventurous with the street food but no one else does and so that might have to give.
And give it did. My parents arrived and we enjoyed the sights and sounds of HCM in luxury, staying in a 5 star international hotel, the pool, gym and seeing the sights sporadically on a very relaxed agenda. The city was so hot that we escaped to the beach (two hours there and back but arguably our best day) , a visit to the zoo (which made me cry - the animals were cooped up in tiny cages) and the Chu Chi Tunnels (amazing and great for our home schooling on the US Vietnam war). I was worried that the heat would be too much for my parents but they were stoic in their resilience, jollying us all along and being incredibly helpful. The children were so excited to see my parents and so well behaved that we decided to bring them along to my father's birthday at a smart restaurant. The evening was a stark reminder of the fact that smart restaurants and children do not mix - EVER. They hated it, we hated it and it was a low point for us. The child in me still desperately wants to please my parents and quite wrongly, most probably, I feel that how my children behave is a reflection of me.
Luckily the rest of the week made up for it and the children on best behaviour, cajoling mum into playing Uno and telling them some of the more interesting facts learnt while away. As I said goodbye at 6am on a sunny Thursday morning I felt empty. Despite being an adult, there are still times when I want my mummy and daddy. There we are - I hope my children feel the same when they are my age.
"Parental love is the only love that is truly selfless, unconditional and forgiving" , Dr T.P.Chia
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