Great Expectations

'There’s a victory in letting go of your expectations." ~Mike White

Once I had got over my earlier shock and disappointment regarding America the only way was up. And up it went.

The last week in Hawaii and our three day trip to Los Angeles exceeded all expectations which just goes to show that you can’t always judge a book by its cover.

We all relaxed into family Ward holiday mode in Hawaii and, despite the few hours every morning dedicated to school, we were waking up late spending the days by the pool, enjoying sundowners on the beach and not returning home for a BBQ until late. Staying put in one place and in one house was cathartic and relaxing. We had many highlights including the 4th July which is not celebrated as enthusiastically in Hawaii as on the main land but as the party wouldn't come to us, we made the effort to drive to the party which was just outside of Lahaina. Here we watched a wonderful sunset , enjoying food overlooking the beach, and a firework display from the point.

Our most memorable day for me was a visit to volcanic craters of two extremes, one at sea level and one at 10,000 feet above sea level. Molokini, a crescent-shaped, partially submerged volcanic crater in the sea offers snorkelers the most unique experience of swimming around a crater and Haleakala which we drove to afterwards is Maui's highest point. Both equally amazing experiences but what was so unique was to be able to do the two things in one day.

The sea at Molokini was the bluest and clearest I have ever seen and although a marine biologist may have been a little disappointed in the variety of fish we saw, we met the most lovely family on the boat and as I looked out over the horizon a glass of wine in hand I felt truly happy. Again, an avid sun set fan or someone who loves heights may have felt the same about the Haleakala Crater. There was too much cloud to secure the mind blowing sunsets and views we know you can get there but as we drove up above the clouds we were treated to spectacular vistas, the clouds underneath us like huge balls of cotton wool. The kids felt they could touch the clouds and as we sat on the edge of terrain that looked like we should be on a film set, bare, mountainous and red we marvelled at the world and the extremes between the land and the sea.

I think that is another thing we have learnt on this trip and we were warned. Molokini and Haleakala were perfect examples of where we as adults had to manage our own expectations on the perfect sun set or the best snorkelling, but this does not come naturally to children. Whilst Alfie enjoyed the experience of the blue sea and the clouds on the crater and Olivia was just excited to go down the slide from the boat into the sea and run around the crater pretending to fall off it ,Eliza was less enthusiastic unsure as to why we would drive so many miles in one day to do both. She probably had a point – less can be more!

I think it raised another point though - What we as adults think is incredible is very different to what children think is incredible. And then if disappointed, which both adults and children feel at various times, it is sometimes harder, of course, for children to look at the positives and instead a range of strong emotions take over.

The most excitement we have garnered in all the seven months we have travelled was for Harry Potter World at Universal in Los Angeles, our next stop after Hawaii. The children absolutely loved their day there but for them it was the excitement before heading there that trumped the day itself. Alfie talked about the impending trip for days on end and then when we got there was totally over awed by the rides and too scared to go on many. To be fair on the children they did not say they were disappointed so perhaps, like we have learnt from experiences over many years, they managed their disappointment. I felt so sad for them though. I remember, that as a child, often the reality could never be as good as the dream. Perhaps it is better to lower our expectations and have them raised than the other way round and I will try to remember that when talking to the children about events they are looking forward to.

For me it was the other way round in LA, which offered much more than I had expected. Admittedly we did the nice parts having been scared away by Fred’s tales of downtown LA and my friends Sarah’s observation ‘You will hate it”, which of course was right, I would have done. I was therefore pleasantly surprised at the rather more genteel parts of LA loving Studio City, where we stayed, the food, the people, Santa Monica, the sun and the palm tree lined avenues. Of course Universal was never going to be my highlight but I threw myself into the horror of pink Hello Kittys and chocolate frogs and hope that if the reality was not quite as good as the kids had hoped for, it might have been worth half of the $600 paid for the experience!

Another observation I have is the children are becoming immensely resilient. The walk to the Hollywood sign was hot and sweaty. Fred, who is the master of navigation and a tireless driver, map reader (usually having to drive and map read at the same time as my map reading is awful) took us off route on the most treacherous track we had yet experienced. So much so that a kind English man was compelled to get us down. Alfie loved it, the girls were less amused but they did it and without too much grumbling, unlike me who swore rather needlessly about it and nearly cried the whole way down. The children behaved far better than I did.

Sunday night was another highlight and this time for all of us, child and adult alike. We spent the evening and had an hour the following morning with one of Fred’s oldest and best friends Tom Weston. The children were thrilled to see him (he is one of Alfie’s godfathers) and they told him entertaining stories of their day at Universal and what parts they have enjoyed and not about travelling. Tom totally engaged with our kids and for that reason that will be one of their best nights as well as ours. Who needs all of the expensive entertainment and experiences that we are giving our children when actually we are all at our happiest with family, best friends and good food.

"Good friends, good food, good times", Anon